Peter Pan Pussies

Have you ever wondered why men these days seem like such pussies?  I’m serious.  There used to be a CODE everyone lived by, and it’s totally gone from what I can tell.  Men used to stand up for their beliefs, no matter whose feelings could get hurt or how “un-pc” they might seem.  Men used to grow up at 18 and want to venture out and make something of themselves, not see what kind of car they could get for graduation and sit on their ass in a nightclub.  Men used to look at their parents and siblings and either want to emulate that happiness and security or try as hard as they could NOT to recreate the dysfunction.  There’s no such thing as a family anymore.  Most guys around 30 are so obsessed with statistics like “50% of marriages end in divorce” or some such nonsense that they are terrified to grow the fuck up, find a person they can relate to on THE level, and start a damn adult life.

All the TV stations and sport competitions that are aimed towards the dude-bro mentality are so gross to watch.  I have a feeling in about 10 years there’s gonna be a whole lot of lonely old fuckers out there, broken down and worn from years of drinkin with the boys and ramping themselves off railings who really wish they had appreciated the women they had in their lives when they made the decision to try and copy off peter pan.

I got on this whole tangent while watching the WWII in HD special the History Channel is running right now.  Watch it if you want a reminder of why everyone’s grandpa was a real-live badass and hero.  Those guys kept it together in a world that none of the spoiled tatted up brats I know could even begin to deal with.

I’m not some kind of lazy ass or gold digger or weirdo transplant from 1950.  I’m just saying that it would be nice to feel like a man wants to take care of ME for once.  I’m talking about mentally and physically…  I don’t want a fucking handbag from the Chanel store.  I can buy my own frivolous crap if i feel the need thank you very much.  All I want is to feel like there’s a dude who isn’t interested in scanning for a better deal out of the corner of his eye, someone who isn’t afraid to say “I think you’re rad, let’s do this”.

So, guys who are over 30 and claim to never have considered marriage & kids are either dumb or delusional or just plain selfish and don’t need other people in their lives.  That’s what I’ve decided anyway.  Now, is it going to take another world war to bring the dudes of our generation down to earth?

 

Third Party? Party!

gag me

After this week’s revolting media saturation with Sarah Palin’s cheesy hair and totally insane ideas, I’ve come to a really cool conclusion. The utter insanity that has taken over the Republican party has made way for a real, viable third party. I voted for Obama, not because I think he’s qualified or because I think he has an inkling of a clue how to run a country, but because I am just so terrified of the Christian right. That’s sad.
I think Obama is doing a terrible job in office, and the fradulent reports he has cooked up for the “stimulus package” are just plain insulting. How people are still blindly supporting his every move is beyond me. I’m beginning to think that 90% of my peers are delusional. Most of them won’t even listen when i try to show them proof of anything that could possibly make Obama out to be anything other than the most perfect person on earth.
Hopefully, the next 4 years will find my naive Democratic friends and some oldschool Republicans who have flown the coop banding together to figure out a way that this country can be governed by a realist.

Health food restaurants

What is the deal with health food restaurant decor, music and menu item names? I’m sorry but it’s infuriating to have to order food with names like “low carbon footprint lasagne”. Also, only the very worst self important vegan hipsters like to listen to sitar tunes at lunch. Get over yourselves, vegan restauranteurs.

The Balloon Bullshit

I sure as hell hope that if any of my friends kids go missing, they do it in a balloon.  Then maybe people would care.  Just so you know, almost a MILLION kids go missing every year in America.  I bet some of the stories of their disappearance are even more CRAAAAAZAY than this balloon garbage.  This is so obviously a stunt drummed up by some slimy scumbag reality TV mastermind.  There’s absolutely no way that this is a coincidence.  That family was on a reality show 2 times for fuck’s sake.

Now. get ready to lose your temper.  Imagine how many tax dollars were spent on that stupid hoax?  I think network in charge of this should pay YOU and ME back for every wasted penny.  What a joke.  Imagine how many real emergencies went unanswered because of those losers and their desperate attempts at fame.

The TLC Channel

The current lineup on the TLC channel makes me sick to my stomach.

10 Years YoungerAdults are told they look haggard then receive instruction on how to look like a teen harpy
Property LadderA show about flipping houses!  Great idea!  By the way it’s not 2004
Heli-LoggersViewers watch as loggers most likely get decapitated or killed while working
18 Kids and CountingJim Bob and Michelle have 18 kids and live in Arkansas.
I Didn’t Know I Was PregnantApparently this is a common problem.  The individual stories are utterly disgusting.  That’s a baby, not a turd you fat fat fat woman.
Jon & Kate Plus 8No explanation necessary
Table For 12Another example of how fertility drugs can turn anyone into a STAR!
Say Yes To The DressSpoiled women have breakdowns over wedding dresses while snarky gay men sneer at them
King Of The Crown Southern high school girls who can barely string together full sentences are browbeaten by their mothers then paraded on stage in evening gowns
Police Women of Broward CountyMoms with poor grammar and quick tempers can be cops too!
Toddlers & TiarasEveryone involved with this show should be jailed for obvious reasons
Wedded to PerfectionWatch as horrible New York couples with entitlement issues plan the celebration of their short-lived marriage!

There are more shows on there but I’m too grossed out to look at the TLC site anymore.

If You’re a Reader

There’s a great article from NY Times Magazine on restricted calorie intake and how it leads to good health, increased energy and living till you’re old and gray.  I won’t bore you with a summary but if you’re interested in diet and health like I am you might want to read this.  :)

The Calorie-Restriction Experiment

Women Are Disgusting

image stolen from toponthepop.com

image stolen from toponthepop.com

Ok- not all women, but women in LA seem to be particularly horrible.  No I am not a spurned young man who tried to screw some model at the club last night.  I’m a normal, educated, fun and bitchy woman under 30.  One would think that being friends with me would be something other chicks my age would want to do.  I’m no loser, I do have plenty of girl friends (most of them have been around for years and years) but I can’t think of ONE girl friend of mine in LA who i actually trust FOR REAL.

Of course, we all have the girls who are great to go out for appetizers and wine with when we have a breakup or some other kind of trauma, but those girls don’t seem to be quite as eager to hang out OR as fun to be with unless there’s some kind of tragedy to discuss.  I swear, if I won the powerball jackpot I would be stuck alone with my dog and yummy.com, but if some skank makes out with my boyfriend while I’m out of town my happy hour dancecard will be full for weeks straight.

What’s the deal with this?  Are the ladies of LA really that jealous or bitter or desperate?  The naive little girl in me refuses to believe it.  Am I weird for not ever coveting what my friends have?  Shit, I’m glad when my girls find a great guy or a cool new job.  Why wouldn’t I be?  I’m not them, and wanting what they have is creepy and stalkerish!  Of course, if you’ve been single or broke for a while it can be a TAD much to have to listen to friends gush about their awesome life but I would NEVER go and try to ruin things for them!  Girls in LA have done this to me countless times.  These scandalous whores have gone so far and beyond anything I have ever imagined, just to blow up my spot and make me sad.  What’s the deal?  Does everyone have this problem?